Talking about adding fire

Okay, so you know Hubs truck went up in some flames December 11 and his truck has been in the shop since.

Last week….
Well, let me just tell you this story, my friend JS sold his car before looking into the truck he parked in his garage about 6 months ago. Yes, parked his truck, and has not checked on it in 6 months, maybe longer, not even to turn it over. Come to find out, the car he was driving, was fine and drivable, but he sold it. Therefore, he goes to get into his truck to go to school, and the truck does not do anything. He finds a way to school, and then calls me that evening wanting me to come pick him up from school. Now, do not get me wrong, JS has helped me before, but remember we only are down to one car, and I have to be Taxi-lady A LOT.
Before I made any decisions I called to talk to hubs, and see what he said, because he would have to miss school if we take JS all the way home, which is about 20miles out of our way, and then over 20miles back home, so over 40miles total. Hubs agree that I we can take him home, etc. Therefore, we adventure over to the college, pick him up, and take him home.
While we were there, Hubs decided to check out the truck and see what he thought might be wrong with it. Hubs spend over an hr and half looking over his truck, taking relays to the parts place, etc. Come to find out that the fuel pump is bad. Hubs then tell JS there is nothing he can do other than call a shop and get it fixed. Being that Hubs is being nice; he gave him the number to the shop we use.
The guy we use only works on cars part time, due to working with the police department during the day, but his prices are the cheapest in town, and he is a very honest guy. It might take a little while, but it will be worth it. He only works on cars for about 3 hours a day, and he is off on the weekends to spend time with his family. Hubs explained all this to JS before handing over his number. JS agreed and called the guy the next day. On the way home, I noticed JS never offered ANYTHING. He did not offer gas money, a lunch date, nothing!
On top of calling the guy the next day, he decided to call me the next day too. He wanted me to pick him up from his home, and then take him to school. I was already going to be on the road 4x that day, but he wanted me to do it MORE! In addition, was even getting MAD that I did not want to drive all the way to his house, and was getting rude with me!
Now, under my breathe I say, “DON”T SALE YOUR CAR THAT IS DRIVABLE!”
Hubs was suppose to get his truck on Monday January  14, but we found out that JS called the guy everyday since last week, and sometimes even more than 2x a day, so the guy got JS’s truck in and out within 2 days and therefore his truck went before Hubs. Therefore, being a friend we are… JS screwed us over even after the fact we helped him!

Thanks for being a friend JS, really appreciate it, and this week I could have slept in a little later, and been able to not be a Taxi-Driver, but I guess you think I like getting up early, and I like being a Taxi-Driver.

 

Things you Don’t say to pregnant women

While I was at Zumba, trying to do my thing, and feel good about myself, I got the quote, “Wow! Are you going to make it to your due date!?” Gee, thanks lady! My reply, “I guess I will see. DD was 5 days early, so who knows.”

Last week the same lady said, “Looks like you are getting on out there, are you okay to be doing Zumba?”
My reply, “Well, I was doing Zumba before this baby, and I am doing Zumba with this baby, so I guess I am doing okay.”

Like, what makes someone think of such? Why not be encouraging? Like, “You look amazing!”

Just another day in the life of Ms. Problems

The Waiting Game

I am sitting here today waiting on my Doctor to call me back. For the past 2 weeks I have been getting black spots in my vision, or blurry vision, I feel very faint. Once I sit down and get calm I can gather myself, but once my vision clears I automatically get hot, like a hot flash, awhile I am sweating, even my palms are sweating a headache comes on and stays with me for the rest of the day.

I went to the hospital to see my cousin. She went into labor 4 weeks early, her water broke at home, the doctor told her to come in the office; they wanted to make sure her water broke. Well, it did. They sent her off to the hospital, got her in L&D, and then they could not find the baby’s heartbeat. They wheeled her into Emergency C-section; they had to put her to sleep. Once they got the baby out, they found his cord wrapped around his neck and he was breech.
So, in the mist of talking to her about what all happened, and if she was okay I started feeling weird. My vision was getting blurry, I could feel the color draining from my face, so I told her I was going to sit down. She then started to worry about me, I told her I was fine just needed a moment to gather myself. All the symptoms came and went and I was back to normal.
Therefore, now I wait. I called the nurse, the nurse called me back, and confirmed my symptoms, then she said she would speak to the doctor and call me back again.

On top of all that yesterday my Mom decided to bomb me with her cussing and her attitude yesterday afternoon. She does not like it that DD will see all the other family instead of her on Christmas Eve. My mom moved in with her boyfriend, who lives 45minutes away from here, and my other family lives 30mins away in the opposite direction. Therefore, my mom wants me to drive the 45minutes to her house then the 45minutes to my Aunt’s house. I had to scream and throw a fit for her to understand that life does not evolve around her. If she wants to see DD, so damn badly she can get her ass in her truck and come here Christmas Eve. There is no sense in us driving around to please everyone, especially with me being 24 weeks pregnant. Of course, I am the bad person, and I just do not want to see her for Christmas.
So now, I sit and wait for the Doctor, and watch my phone blow up with texts from my Mom.
The joys of life.

 

Addiction/Obsession

We constantly hear these words, but what is what, and how do we know the differences?

Obsession is an idea/thought that continually preoccupies/intrudes a person’s brain.
Addiction is a Condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

Obsession is focusing on just one thing. It prevents important things from entering your life. Obsession, being obsessed, or having an obsession is a constant urge on a fixed idea, or a fixed sensation/passion that is not needed. You desire one thing, but it isn’t needed by our body, it is; however, a feeling of need that is triggered by your brain, due to persistent thinking of the thing you are obsessed to, you neglect common everyday things: like eating, taking a bath, tending to your children, taking care of yourself, or even sleeping. An obsession is a thought, or a craving of something you cannot have.

Addiction is behavior that interrupts normal activity. It is a state of mind, in which, your body thinks it needs to function. A chemical alternation takes place within the brain. This triggers the wanting for that object/substance. Addiction can also be doing certain things that in the long run you already require yourself to do it, so you feel normal. Addictions are in everyday life from porno, gambling, food, sex, computer use, games, work, or exercise. These are just a few of everyday things we do/could do.

One that obsesses by worrying about their looks and an addiction to spending money on beauty supplies at the risk of not paying the bills. In addition, an obsession is a thought and an addiction involves a compulsive behavior. An addiction is something you cannot live without; an obsession is the craving of something you cannot have.

Do you have an obsession/addiction?

Selfishness

Do you often find yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically drained by someone? It could be with time, money, or resources. This type of person will push you to your limits, often times you can see yourself slapping them, or sending chunks of hair flying through the air.

I am dealing with one of these types of people right now, probably not only one, but possibly even two.

Selfish people tend to want other people to “admire” them in order to feel good about themselves. People who act this way are usually insecure deeper than we could ever imagine and they constantly try to feed their needs by others, because they can not reassure themselves of their own worth.

Don’t get me wrong! I am selfish sometimes, we all are. A certain amount of selfishness is good for our well-being, it helps define who we are. However, the type of selfish people I am talking about hurt us over and over and they can’t understand why!

We often find ourselves asking is it our fault, we lose focus on our value or self-worth, we forget to set boundaries, we constantly ask ourselves is it worth them being in your life, or if we should tame them (in some way, or another).

5 Characteristic Traits to look for in a Selfish Person
1) “Me” Attitude
– they put their needs/themselves first
– they live for themselves
– being the head of the house
– making all decisions

2) Manipulative
– driven by losing control
– unwilling to reach compromises
– down cast others
– silent treatment
– lies

3) Calculative/Accumulators
– it is their time/their efforts
– feel the right to receive from others, but never return favors
– ungrateful

4) Low Self-Esteem
– always trying to pull others down with them
– hard to motivate other, because it is hard for them too
– needy
– the need to be perfect/better
– inability to handle criticism
– Overly pessimistic and/or critical

5) Self-Centered/Self-Obsessed
– The “Me, Me, Me” thing again
– give little or no consideration to others
– cut off other people’s light to shine it back on themselves
– focus on getting what they want, when they want it
– vain about their looks, constantly looking at themselves in any reflection
– they take and never give back
– flirt even if they have a boyfriend or are married
– constantly need reassurance about their looks
– don’t get enough attention they will sulk

I often realize I am falling into the “trap” when I start second guessing my own thoughts, and I start realizing I let them drag me down right along with them.

Selfish people hear other people’s desires, feelings and opinions, but instead of viewing these and taking in a consideration they view these as obstacles. They want to be friends with you, and the longer they are your friends the more they realize how they can manipulate you, eventually they get their way faster and easier as the time goes on.

I have recently realized they will break your heart in more than one way, and their delusional to what love really is. It is sad to watch how they act to other people they “love”, and it seems everyone is blinded by their smile that they no longer see the hurtfulness they bring on.

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The drama continues

As you know, almost a week ago M and I had a falling out.
Now I am updating you on what is happening today.
Like this pregnant woman needs more bullshit to add to her life.

M decided to text me, finally. Let’s just see what she has to say..
Ms P. you know I love you ..when you get ready to talk let me know. I will be glad to discuss anything. Okay.
I’d rather us work it out than you discuss with J. She feels like you’re putting her in between us and she doesn’t want anything to stress our friendship.

Me texting back ..
I haven’t talked to J since everything happened. You pissed me off. You was eating nuts in front of DD, like you didn’t care. You didn’t want us there. So, I’m staying away. You was in the wrong, not me.

M: I’ve showed you I love you in many ways. I keep DD, I help with some things she needs. Can’t you see I care? I had the nuts on the fridge and you’re right. I didn’t think about washing my hands …. I had 15 things to do I told you I was swamped.

Me: I don’t want to talk about it. You can’t even keep DD long enough for us to get groceries. You let guys chose what you do and your feelings. They even get to make the shots if your going to stick to plans or not. Have fun with whomever. I know I can keep DD on my own. I have done very well with or without you. You can control your environment. You can either freak out over everything or actually enjoy life. You let everything around you dictate when or where you want the company of your own daughter. I am tired of being in last place for that.

M: You were in the wrong by dropping by unannounced, knowing I was swamped. you know how important having a roommate is to me. You were talking to J that day and even before when yall went to BK, you talked bad about me to her. You’ll never forgive anything I’ve ever done. We have even discussed it ourselves, and you insist.

Me: We wasn’t even there for 2 hrs. Al that shit went down in an Hr. You was even over-minding me about DD. I told you she could take a nap and you refused! You could have continued going where ever but you chosen not to. I even offered to help out, you sat there constantly talking about your boyfriend. again not my fault.

M: Exactly you’re saying if I keep DD you not appreciative because it isn’t long enough?

Me: I talked to J about it bc J brought it up. She was the one worried about you. She said you needed a life coach, or something bc you never think you’re pretty enough, or whatever. That is why we talked about you!

M: I do have a life yes ….. your judging me …. and just so you know my friends called me laughing about your comments on FB saying your acting like a 10 yrs old. Had I not been talking about Dan You would have been talking about your Hubs. What about all those times I ask you to do things with me and DD? You don’t. Your right, I had 15 things to do I didn’t want company. When I am in a bad mood I’d rather be alone but you just BARGED in!!!!!!!!!! You had no regard for what I needed how does that make you better than me

Me: Whatever

M: J is concerned you use anything against me for meanness …. there is a huge difference ….you don’t see J acting like you on FB. What could I ever do to make it better… apologize… ask for forgiveness… nothing?

At this point my hubs called to check on me. Of course I am crying, he tells me to block her number, delete her shit and move on. Maybe he is right. The only thing I said on my FB was “When DD grows up, My door will always be an open door policy.” How is that childish? I did finally call my M and told her to quit calling me, messaging me, or anything. I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t need the stress I am Pregnant! I need to worry about myself!

I go to my first prenatal visit tomorrow.

Can I Cry Now?

Well, today was a joke.
I thought today would be a great day! I thought…

DD and I went to the Dentist, got her teeth cleaned and mine. DD had no cavities, and her teeth looked perfect. She did so well with me, usually she acts wild, but not this time! She was such a big girl and even assisted in helping. She loved Mr. Thirsty. She would giggle, it was an amazing experience.
I guess I should have “captured” the moment, but my brain was else where.

After the Dentist Office I knew we had to get something to eat. I didn’t want to drive 20 mins back home then 20 mins back to town within 3 hrs. Just didn’t seem right to me, common sense right anyway. So, I swung by BK got us something to eat. I went ahead and drove to my Moms, since I don’t see her hardly anymore. I was thinking she would be happy to see us, but nope.
As most of my followers probably read “Friend M”, well it was about my Mom. And here I was thinking she had changed in just over a week. Hell, I didn’t think everything could go from Great to Hell in less than 30mins.
I knock on her door, and she comes to the door with no smile. I ask if we could at least eat lunch at her house, and that I will leave as soon as our family friend got home. She said yeah sure, whatever. So, DD and I ate our BK and my Mom stops cleaning to sit and talk to us. She tells us what she has got to do, etc.
After I got done eating I gather my trash and thrown them away, moved over to the sink and stood there looking over her house. My Mom climb in a bar stool ahead of me. I asked if I could help her. I asked if the dishes in the dishwasher was clean and she said they was, so I started putting them up. Well, as I was cleaning she was sitting there and the only thing she wants to talk about is the guy who recently broke up with her, about how “he might change his mind”, she starts reading his texts to me. Well, quite frankly I didn’t care about listening to him. I wanted to talk about my New Pregnancy. I wanted to be important. I wanted to talk about MY plans and etc. Well, she didn’t want to talk about that I don’t guess. Anyway, she finally starts getting the carpet cleaner out (she has a roommate coming tomorrow, and she has 1251454123023151 things to do before tomorrow. Hello! Do it a week ago and you wouldn’t have all the BULLSHIT stress – just saying). Anyway, she starts putting the cleaner together come to find out a part broke off on it. I knew then that our visit was going down hill from here. She starts panicking and constantly saying “What the hell am I going to do NOW” and “What the Fuck else is going to go WRONG today” – She was really bitchy and it was only going to get worse.
By this time I am trying to figure out how to help her, even if it was gluing something in place “to make it work” but no.
So, she was in the process to go down to the vacuum place to get the part she might need. I told her we would stay at her house so we could take a nap before my doctors appt, because well, I am tired! and DD has a nap around 1-2pm anyway. Well, DD starts crying, because she knows my Mom is leaving and not taking her. I told my mom we will be fine, she can go (I was on my way up the stairs). I had DD’s hand and my Mom starts yelling at me that she was NOT going to leave DD crying! She got DD and marched off with her to her truck! She is telling me to get the carseat out of our car and put it in her truck, so I proceed. I hand her the carseat, and told her “You wouldn’t have to put up with her crying if you would just leave!” I go back inside the house as they drive off.
At this point I feel like a failure. I feel like everything I do for DD is not good enough. I feel like I can not even be in my Mom’s house without her being a bully, or simply tuning us out! It sucks. I feel like I am not good enough.
About 5-10mins goes by and she comes back with DD, apparently they went down the road and came back “to check on me” – that’s what DD told me. By this time my Mom has yet to tell me she was sorry instead she has her phone glued to her and starts locking us out of her house, even leaving 1x but realizing DD’s carseat is in her truck. She comes back inside, and I knock on the door to get her to unlock, at this time she tells me that we need to go somewhere. We need to get out. So we did. I didn’t even tell her Bye. Nothing.
I went to the damn doctor by myself.

At the doctors office.

DD and I got there about 45mins early, due to my telling me to leave. I didn’t want to drive home and waste gas that I don’t have. So we waited and I still couldn’t stop crying. Here I am 4 hours later still crying, because my mom is selfish! It is all about her, but anyway,  I finally get called to the back and while I go pee in the cup, the nurse takes my daughter back to the room with her toys. I thought the nurse locked the door behind me, but of course not… why didn’t I think of that!? So, as I was peeing in a cup another nurse knocks on the door and I said “someone is in here” and she still opens the door on me telling me “You Should Lock it!” Roll My Eyes, My Bad! Within 30secs I hear my daughter roaming the halls saying “Mommmmmmmyyyyyy” and all the nurses asking where her Mommy was, and what does my daughter do? Points to the bathroom door and says “IN HERE”
Now I am crying harder. Now I feel like I can’t even watch my daughter at the Doctor’s office! What can I do right today??
They confirmed I am pregnant. I go to see the Ob on the 15th.
Yay Me! At least my best friend, and Husband are proud of me, and are happy.

Momma Award Goes To…

Scrolling through my news feed on Fb I get this ^^^

What is the world coming to??
Am I the only one who thinks “Way to Go! You raised a trooper”?
I mean I know kids repeat things, but can you image how many times the child has listen to the songs to know “EVERY” word??

Lets just say DD knows the “wheels on the bus”, and other vast of children’s songs. There is too many cuss words in today’s music, that I don’t want her running around repeating them. She has plenty of time to grow up and listen to the songs she wants to, but right now I am letting her be a child.

Anyway, my rant today lol
Oh, the girls next status update was “My Daughter wants boobs just like me!” She even posted a picture with her 21 month old holding her hands in her shirt, smh!

I am Heading to the Dentist and to the Doctor to get a referral to the ObGyn