I don’t know why but for the past two days I just feel lonely, depressed, not myself.
I come to write today to address why I feel this way. I don’t really know why I feel this way, probably because I am 7 months pregnant, and the walls of this house are slowly caving in on me.
My husband is as cheap as they come.
1. He makes about 900/wk (if he works over time, 700/wk on normal 40hrs) But yet, he doesn’t want to pay 700-750/mo rent. He wants to be CHEAP. We found us a house: 3br/2ba 940 sq ft. It is a small house. But he likes it, you know why!? It’s 550/mo.
2. We need a new couch and loveseat. The couch and loveseat we have now are suppose to be WHITE and they are about an off-white now. I have tried cleaning them, but I think they will need a steamer. So, I found a loveseat, couch, 2 end tables, and a coffee table online for $500. I told him we could sale the tables, because we don’t need them (plus, they wouldn’t match what we have, or offer $300 for the couch and loveseat since we don’t need the tables) Hubs’s response: “You must be CRAZY thinking I am going to pay $500 on a couch and loveseat!” Sigh. 
3. Hub’s Next remark: When we do buy a house, my payments will not be over 600/mo and that’s with insurance and everything included. I’m not going to live out of my means.
My husband must think the world evolves around him.
1. I stay at home, I love it, I do. What I hate is, washing dishes to cook, then cooking, him and everyone eating, then I end up back in the kitchen to clean it. I may stay at home, but I am starting to feel like I am just the maid, the slave. Plus, we don’t have a dishwasher, so I have to stand in the kitchen and wash everything by hand. Do you know how boring that is to do everyday?
2. I am packing by myself. My Hubs has the excuse that he works and goes to school. The only excuse I have is I’m pregnant. (I had to move a 5 drawer, chest of drawers into the house yesterday (by myself) because when I asked my husband to put it in the house, he blew it off since this past weekend. It was about to rain, so I moved the damn thing in the house.
3. We don’t even know if this house will be fully available to move in till the end of March.
The lady that lives there is waiting on the finalization on the house she is buying, and plus her lease on the rental property isn’t up till the end of March. (Hello!? I am due the 2nd week of April) Surely My husband doesn’t think I WILL BE MOVING all this STUFF when I am close to 9 MONTHS pregnant!)
4. I have been trying to take it easy.
I have been having braxton hicks contractions. So, I haven’t been able to pack, and do ALL the house chores. Hub comes in from work yesterday and the first thing he asks is if I washed clothes. Well, I haven’t. I have been packing, and going through what we don’t need. Haven’t thought about clothes, since there is only like 2 loads that needed to be washed. Hubs response: “Well, You could have washed me some DAMN underwear!” My reply “Put them in the washer, and maybe if you would buy more than 3 at a time then you would have clean ones! Plus, I think you have 2 hands to wash clothes with too”
On top of all this. He didn’t want me buying DD a bed. He didn’t want to spend $100 on her a twin bed, but I spent my $100 of my Christmas Money that I got from family to buy her one. But now, he spends $50-$60/wk at Hobby Lobby buying NEW stuff for the Nursery (which we don’t even have yet).
All I can do this morning is cry. Sometimes I wonder why I even put up with it. Why I sit and go through life with the CHEAPEST stuff. Here I am in a house that I wanted to be moved out of last August, 7 months pregnant and packing all this stuff by myself. Did I sign up for this? Is this what I will have to keep going through the rest of my life?
Freakin' Delicious 
I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way! Have you tried to sit your husband down and talk to him, tell him exactly how you feel? I am a 28 year old single male so I by no means know much about what the two of you are going through (expecting a baby), but maybe he is scared? Is this your first child? I am by no means making excuses for him, but if you’re as upset as you seem, sit him and down and tell him exactly how you feel. Have him read your blog. Obviously no relationship is perfect and without it’s ups and downs, but I wish the two of you would be more happy and excited with a baby so near! I hope you get back to feeling like yourself and everything works out! Hopefully I provided at least 1 ounce of good advice, haha. Keep your head up, and if you haven’t talked to him about it, he may not even know you’re feeling this way!
Thank you so much for reading, and commenting. My husband and I have been together for the past 9 years. There is only so much talking I can do with him. I have always been the one to submit into his ways, and his actions. I never ask for anything. I hardly ever get my hair done (maybe 3x a yr and he gripes about it costing $20). This is our 2nd child. Our first one is 5 years old. So, he shouldn’t be scared, and he always acts like this regardless of a baby or not. I have thought about writing to him. We have went through a lot in the last 9 years: even find out that his temper was induced by his thyroid, which he had removed. His temper is better now, but he still in his cheap ways. All we have lived in is crap, and it is like he doesn’t care. We have moved going on 8 times all because the places start literally falling apart. He tells our landlords that he will fix things, and he never does. It is just an ongoing thing.
That’s the least that I can do! I feel bad; you should be happy and excited to meet your new little one not feeling this way. It seems like you’re working against each other instead of with each other and that isn’t going to help anything, ya know? It seems to me from what I’m reading that you’re always conforming to his ways when it needs to be a two way street. I think that you should definitely write him and make it clear to him how you feel and what needs to change. Hope you feel better!
I talked to him on the phone during his lunch break. He seems to understand my concerns but right now we don’t have time or the money to buy things, due to the fact of still having to buy everything for the baby, and get moved, within 2 months.
Maybe I am just being pregnancy hormonal, or maybe just a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Thanks for the encouragement. I was int he process of writing him a letter, but it was better talking to him on the phone.
Wow. Quite a lot in this. I’m glad it’s yesterdays for you.
9 years – I left my marriage after 7 years, had known him 9 years. I admire your continuance. I hope things just get stronger, but I seriously think it is not right for him to be upset about you getting your hair done. MUM, YOU NEED SOME PAMPERING – DO IT.
xx Another Mother.
Hope things get better for ya, look for the light at the end of the tunnel(:
~Mirixxx(boldmode.wordpress.com)