Can I Cry Now?

Well, today was a joke.
I thought today would be a great day! I thought…

DD and I went to the Dentist, got her teeth cleaned and mine. DD had no cavities, and her teeth looked perfect. She did so well with me, usually she acts wild, but not this time! She was such a big girl and even assisted in helping. She loved Mr. Thirsty. She would giggle, it was an amazing experience.
I guess I should have “captured” the moment, but my brain was else where.

After the Dentist Office I knew we had to get something to eat. I didn’t want to drive 20 mins back home then 20 mins back to town within 3 hrs. Just didn’t seem right to me, common sense right anyway. So, I swung by BK got us something to eat. I went ahead and drove to my Moms, since I don’t see her hardly anymore. I was thinking she would be happy to see us, but nope.
As most of my followers probably read “Friend M”, well it was about my Mom. And here I was thinking she had changed in just over a week. Hell, I didn’t think everything could go from Great to Hell in less than 30mins.
I knock on her door, and she comes to the door with no smile. I ask if we could at least eat lunch at her house, and that I will leave as soon as our family friend got home. She said yeah sure, whatever. So, DD and I ate our BK and my Mom stops cleaning to sit and talk to us. She tells us what she has got to do, etc.
After I got done eating I gather my trash and thrown them away, moved over to the sink and stood there looking over her house. My Mom climb in a bar stool ahead of me. I asked if I could help her. I asked if the dishes in the dishwasher was clean and she said they was, so I started putting them up. Well, as I was cleaning she was sitting there and the only thing she wants to talk about is the guy who recently broke up with her, about how “he might change his mind”, she starts reading his texts to me. Well, quite frankly I didn’t care about listening to him. I wanted to talk about my New Pregnancy. I wanted to be important. I wanted to talk about MY plans and etc. Well, she didn’t want to talk about that I don’t guess. Anyway, she finally starts getting the carpet cleaner out (she has a roommate coming tomorrow, and she has 1251454123023151 things to do before tomorrow. Hello! Do it a week ago and you wouldn’t have all the BULLSHIT stress – just saying). Anyway, she starts putting the cleaner together come to find out a part broke off on it. I knew then that our visit was going down hill from here. She starts panicking and constantly saying “What the hell am I going to do NOW” and “What the Fuck else is going to go WRONG today” – She was really bitchy and it was only going to get worse.
By this time I am trying to figure out how to help her, even if it was gluing something in place “to make it work” but no.
So, she was in the process to go down to the vacuum place to get the part she might need. I told her we would stay at her house so we could take a nap before my doctors appt, because well, I am tired! and DD has a nap around 1-2pm anyway. Well, DD starts crying, because she knows my Mom is leaving and not taking her. I told my mom we will be fine, she can go (I was on my way up the stairs). I had DD’s hand and my Mom starts yelling at me that she was NOT going to leave DD crying! She got DD and marched off with her to her truck! She is telling me to get the carseat out of our car and put it in her truck, so I proceed. I hand her the carseat, and told her “You wouldn’t have to put up with her crying if you would just leave!” I go back inside the house as they drive off.
At this point I feel like a failure. I feel like everything I do for DD is not good enough. I feel like I can not even be in my Mom’s house without her being a bully, or simply tuning us out! It sucks. I feel like I am not good enough.
About 5-10mins goes by and she comes back with DD, apparently they went down the road and came back “to check on me” – that’s what DD told me. By this time my Mom has yet to tell me she was sorry instead she has her phone glued to her and starts locking us out of her house, even leaving 1x but realizing DD’s carseat is in her truck. She comes back inside, and I knock on the door to get her to unlock, at this time she tells me that we need to go somewhere. We need to get out. So we did. I didn’t even tell her Bye. Nothing.
I went to the damn doctor by myself.

At the doctors office.

DD and I got there about 45mins early, due to my telling me to leave. I didn’t want to drive home and waste gas that I don’t have. So we waited and I still couldn’t stop crying. Here I am 4 hours later still crying, because my mom is selfish! It is all about her, but anyway,  I finally get called to the back and while I go pee in the cup, the nurse takes my daughter back to the room with her toys. I thought the nurse locked the door behind me, but of course not… why didn’t I think of that!? So, as I was peeing in a cup another nurse knocks on the door and I said “someone is in here” and she still opens the door on me telling me “You Should Lock it!” Roll My Eyes, My Bad! Within 30secs I hear my daughter roaming the halls saying “Mommmmmmmyyyyyy” and all the nurses asking where her Mommy was, and what does my daughter do? Points to the bathroom door and says “IN HERE”
Now I am crying harder. Now I feel like I can’t even watch my daughter at the Doctor’s office! What can I do right today??
They confirmed I am pregnant. I go to see the Ob on the 15th.
Yay Me! At least my best friend, and Husband are proud of me, and are happy.

21 thoughts on “Can I Cry Now?

  1. I’m sorry your day was crappy :( my mom pulls that self centred crap too and it really hurts all the more because she is my mom. She is the one person who is supposed to really really care. I’m sending big big hugs

    • Thanks. It sucks because now it is just not me who she is doing this too, it is also my daughter.
      It is sad when DD tells me that she told my mom to be nice and that’s why she came back to her house in the first place.
      I have made the decision to not go back to her house, not to inform her of anything about the baby, and not call her. I need distance. I have been dealing with this since 03.
      Thanks for the hugs, and understanding. Sending hugs your way too.

      • She’s just not normal. She rather be with a guy then with us. She will cancel plans just to please her man. We hardly see her (maybe 2x a month) and she only lives about 15 minutes away.
        It’s just hard. You would think she would be excited but shes not, or she’s not acting like it.

      • Ugh. I am so there with my mom sometimes. I get it. It’s attention seeking confidence boosting attention she wants and she already knows she has your love.
        It sucks.

      • It’s just not about that.
        I mean she fed my daughter walnuts, that lead us to the hospital. We found out my daughter is highly allergic, she goes into shock.
        When I went to see my mom she was standing there eating Walnuts with us there and my daughter just in the next room.
        It is like she doesn’t care about us. What if she would have dropped one? It’s just really emotional for me, and she thinks she is doing nothing wrong.

      • Yeah, and the way I think is, if she is that naive about it what will happen if she is “watching” Jade by herself, and I’m not there to correct her? Why is it I have to be the parent of my Mom. It’s just not fair.

      • I don’t want to find out only because if it is a girl I don’t want to be inundated with pink stuff. LOL. I’m much more into the gender neutral baby stuff.
        If all my aunties and cousins find out we are having a girl, i’ll have piles of pink frilly lacey things. A little is cool, but…ya know?
        Boys I’m less worried about. Blue and green and stuff is fine by me.

      • ROFL! This totally made me giggle.
        When I did find out that we was having a girl with DD I still stuck to neutral things. I didn’t go far out on frilly girly stuff til recently.
        Maybe you can give them the saying I told our friends and family, “You don’t know if they are truly right, we could have a boy, and then what will I do?” That helped with overcrowding of all of one thing. So, that’s an idea ;-)

      • Very true…but they’d still buy me pink stuff. I probably just won’t find out. Or at least that’s what I’ll say for now. Just wait. The second I get a positive pee stick, I’ll want to know everything.

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